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[shesgotguts]

house #1490
husband ❧ daughter ❧ son
sister ☆ daughter ☆ nope ☆ no way

owner of Good Golly, Miss Holly!
principal's assistant at Altaciere High School
member of the Holly Heights Welcoming Committee

"Your queen, Milly Ashford, isn't here right now, so feel free to leave a message!! She'll have a servant get back to you ASAP!"

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[shesgotguts]

[she watches him carefully, watches him strain to keep himself together, and perhaps try to let it all out at the same time. he can't do that. he can't keep it in and be free of those feelings simultaneously. she's seen people try. she's tried. she knows what happens.

she doesn't want him to shatter under the pressure of bottling everything up, and implode in trying to forget the feelings. it only hurts more.

when he looks at her, she smiles softly, and bites at her lip in thought before kneeling next to him, placing her hand on his knee for a moment.] Kazuya, it's not "putting up with you". I want to help. I like having you around. If having you here was a chore, I would let you know. [her smile is gentle and sweet, and she stays there with him for a few seconds before standing up and moving towards her cabinets.]

You know, there's a wine for every occasion. Moscato for a girl's night out, Merlot for an engagement announcement, Pinot Grigio for when you want to look classy at a teenager's house party... and Cabernet Sauvignon for a night like tonight. [she plucks the bottle from the wine rack and two glasses from the top shelf. uncorking the bottle with ease, she pours them both a glass, and brings both of them to the table. once she takes her seat, she locks eyes with him, and raises her glass slightly.]

You know, if you break eye contact during a toast, you'll have awful sex for seven years.

[leadingspirit]

[His expression doesn't really change despite the way her words take hold of his heart and squeeze, making it that much harder to draw in a breath. He lowers his eyes to her hand on his knee and keeps them there after she's moved away, listening to her explain wines.]

...dunno why it surprises me that you have your wines categorized by various circumstances, but there we are.

[His expression is still mostly flat after her joke, but he closes his eyes and smiles faintly as he takes the glass, keeping eye contact.]

I dunno how much awful sex a guy who hadn't been having any for almost that long before meeting you can have, but while I may be a daredevil those odds don't really suit my fancy.

[He holds his glass out toward her.]

...to you. For being everything I never knew I needed.

[shesgotguts]

Of course I have them categorised! Did you forget who you're talking to?

[her laughter rings through the kitchen twice-- once for her own joke, and once for his. she keeps her smile as she sits down with him, and raises her glass to match him, but his toast catches her off guard. she's so surprised, in fact, she almost looks away from him.

the smile falls for a moment as her heart stops and her breath catches in her throat. what a powerful declaration. she can't find her words at first, but when she does, she attempts to be as intense and sincere as he is.]

And to you, for being everything I could ever want and hope for, and then more.

[leadingspirit]

Looks like it, for a second.

[It soothes his frayed nerves, really, the way she laughs. Even if he knows she puts up just as much of a face as he does, as he was, that she wasn't treating him differently for being obviously out of sorts somehow made him feel secure in a way he wasn't sure he'd ever known.]

[And then he realizes what he said, and in conjunction with her respond he forgets the state of calm he'd started to slide into. His jaw drops open just a little and he stammers, tapping his glass to hers and hurriedly reclaiming it, downing about half of it in one go in a sheer effort to not speak.]

[Fuck. Why did he say that? Why did she say that in response? Why did-- nope. No?? No. He backslid, gracelessly, into a fumbling disaster and laughed an ugly sort of sound before he realized and thought to stop himself.]

Except I'm not-- really. Sometimes I know how to talk, but I'm nowhere near good for you.

[shesgotguts]

[a smile had wanted to come forth, to show him that she's actually happy with what he's said. but he's pulling away from her, in a way that almost makes her question if he truly meant what he said. but it's kazuya. he might keep his secrets, but he wouldn't lie to her like that. of course he means it. it's a few steps short of three little words that have occurred to her before-- he wouldn't take something like that back.

and neither will she.

she offers him a soft sympathetic smile as she rests her elbow on the table and her cheek in her hand as she drinks her own wine.] Kazuya, would you like me to list the ways I adore you chronologically or alphabetically? You're wonderful, and you're wonderful for me. Why would you think otherwise? [an awful question, but she'll ask it anyway.]

[leadingspirit]

This is-- entirely not the conversation I was planning to have with you. Ever, really. Aren't you seeing someone? Two someones?

[Because no, he doesn't want her to list the ways she adores him. Because she's young, and gorgeous, and taken, and it's not like he knew how to really court a girl anyway.]

[Not like he hadn't been doing it almost entirely on accident for months now.]

[He finishes the rest of his wine.]

[shesgotguts]

[uh oh. this is too far in the feelies zone... and she doesn't know if she can work her way out of this. more than that, even if she does, at what cost? he's her confidant, a shoulder to cry on, her best friend. she can't ruin that. not when they've come so far.

there's no backing away, no good that could come from lying or avoiding the topic. honesty and bravery have to happen, together.

she takes another sip (gulp, really) of her wine, thinking for a moment before speaking.] I've thought about this conversation before... I didn't expect us to have it to soon, and at a time like this, but sometimes you just feel it. [it? a premonition, or a passion...] You're right about me seeing other people, but did you ever think that maybe you're right up there with them? That maybe I--

[she cuts herself off before she can do any more damage.]