shesgotguts | voicemail;

[oh, honey. oh sweet baby.]

i wish i could let you keep thinking that. because i want to be a hot hot tater tot.

but no, thats not what it means.

it means "that hoe over there".

WHAT?!?!? MILLY-CHAN NOOOOOOO NONONONO
YOURE NOT A HOE
YOURE A LADY!! YOURE A DAMN LADY MILLYCHAN NOOOOONNONONONONO I DIDNT MEAN TO I'M SO SORRY YOURE NOT
YOURE A HOT TATER TOT LADY!! YOU ARENT THAT I'M SO SO SORRY!! YOURE  A LADY YOURE A MIGHTY FINE DAMN LADY
MILYLYYYYYYYYYYYCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

im hurt you would ever even imply im a hoe! im better than that, dont you think? a call girl, at least. or an escort! or someones sugar baby.

but my feelings are hurt forever! ill never love again! ill waste away, alone and heartbroken because isao kondo called me a thot!

I DIDNT!! I THOUGHT IT MEANT HOT!! WHICH YOU ARE YOURE A SUPER HOT LADY!! AND NOT CALL GIRL OR AN ESCORT unless thats what you wanna be YOURE THE SUGARIEST BABY AROUND!! YOURE NOT THAT

NONONONONOOOOOO NOOOOO MILYLYCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN NONONO YOU NOOOOOOO!! DONT WASTE AWAY, COME BAC K TO THE LIGHT! GRAB MY HAND, I WONT LET YOU GO INTO THE DARKNESS! YOULL LOVE AGAIN, YOULL SEE! ISAO KONDO IS A SMELLY BUM WHO DIDNT MEAN IIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT

I CANT BELIEVE YOU WOULD CALL ME SOMETHING SO MEAN! WHAT IS IS ISAO???? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE SUCH CRUEL NAME CALLING?? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!!

i can feel it already, my heart crumbling away, my whole body withering... i can feel the thot curse taking hold, a curse that can only be broken by the bravest of gorillas and their kisses... ill never make it... isao... tell mafuyu shes... wonderful...... and tell......... xanxus......... hes the worst...............

WE ARE FRIENDS, WE'RE THE GREATEST OF FRIENDS! I DIDNT KNOW WTHATS WHAT THAT MEANT, MILLYCHAN!!! I HAD NO IDEA I CONSIDER YOU  A GREAT LADY, A GREAT LADY OF HOT TATER TOTS!! NOT THAT OTHER THING, NOT AT ALL! YOU DONT DESERVE IT AT ALL, YOURE WONDERFUL!! 

nononono TELL THEM YOURSELF!! i'll put cat litter on his side of the backyard if you really want BUT NO DONT WITHER!! I KNOW OF A BRAVE GORILLA WHOS KISSES...WELL IDK BUT THEYLL TRY, THE KISSES, THEYLL TRY THEIR BEST

>3<

well what do you know, the curse went away BUT IT MIGHT COME BACK!!!

ill forgive you if you give me an ACTUAL kiss and help me pull a prank on xanxus. my heart still aches and i used a whole box of tissues because i was crying over being called a thot. i dont know if i should let you off so easy!

it workeD!!>!>?!?!?!? I'M SO GLAD ;; i was worried NO IT CANT COME BACK I WONT ALLOW IT IT WILL NOT PASS 

you shouldnt, i am ready for any sort of sexy punishment you deem fit for a sinner such as me.....of course i;ll accept whatever doom is in store. kisses or pranks or whatev if only we can be friends again ;;

it might come back the next time you call me something nasty without me giving you permission! not like i think youd ever do that. youre too kind for something like that.

youre ready for sexy punishment? [kondo are you okay? has someone hijacked your phone? is this aikuro? ??????] we are friends, as weve always been, dont worry, but do you really want "sexy punishment"? i didnt think youd be into that.

i wonT EVER EVER EVER EVER EEEEEEEEEVER AGAIN!! i'll do my research first before i try out new terms for where you are in my heart. thank you for understanding that you mean too much to me to do that

well i figure since its you your punishments will turn out to be sexy to me...........not that its a bad thing or anything!! 
theres a lot u dont know about me...........;0

its alright! but i appreciate the thought. and you mean a lot to me too! ill always understand true friendship like ours.

oh~? isao, i didnt know you think im sexy. you shouldve said something so much sooner. i do reward those who are honest with me. ;)

but youre right. there is a lot i dont know. but id like to learn.

damn RIGHT its important and good and wholesome and grrrreat!

we-well yeah!! of course youre hella sexy!! a real sexy mighty fine lady. oh ya? what uh...whats the reward

yeah? really? well i guess we can start with 20 questions and stuff

why, thank you! and youre rather sexy yourself. who could resist such a muscular physique? a charming smile? a gentle heart? certainly not me.

the reward? well. hmm... imagine me in your lap, straddling you, and naked. the only thing youre wearing are boxers, the only thing separating us is a singular layer of fabric. your hands are on my hips, and my hands are on your chest... do you think thats a good reward, or is that not enough?

right! so, my first question to you: whats your favourite colour?

you cant, can you...............~~~ i had no idea, milly-tan....i didnt know you got so hot under the collar for my bod ;0 and heart. good 2 know 

MILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its RED
RED ALERT RED ALERT RED ALRET

[can you hear that? it's milly laughing like an utter shitlord at kondo. now he can have fun with an accidental boner. and that's what what he gets for calling her a thot. (not really. but people have seen greater vengeance for lesser offences.)]

red? i like red too. not as much as rainbow, though. i can never pick just one colour...

do you have a middle name?

[ALL HE CAN HEAR IS HIS OWN BONER CRYING OUT IN PAIN AND HORROR! ALSO CONFUSION BC THIS IS HIS FRIEND?!?!?!]

RAINBOW IS NICE...IS THAT YOUR FAVE THEN?? IT TOTES COUNTS

i dont
do you?

[shhh, kondo's boner. it'll be okay. friends give friends boners sometimes. it happens. it's part of the friendship. kind of. sexy friendship... that launches itself into something more........]

it is! i think it counts too.

thats a shame! you seem like youd have a very strong middle name. like edward! or bartholomew! and i have four middle names, actually. my full name is camilla eleanor louise adelaide theodora ashford. and then there's the matter of titles...

what did you want to be when you grew up when were little?

[ITS STILL YELLING it might never stop yelling? at least for a good week or two. WHAT IS THIS SEXY FRIENDSHIP?? whats it supposed to do with this]

yUP YUP YUPPP LOL 

isao bartholomew kondo??? thats a mouthful. thats what she-- i mean. yeah. ALSO HOLY CRAP THATS ALL YOUR NAME?! thats definitely a mouthful...but its a really pretty name, youve got a lovely name! so milly comes from camilla? CAMILLA ELEANOR!!! 

well i havent been canon updated lately so probably something like a rock star who fights crime

['the yodeling boner' sounds like a great children's book. a kid's how-to guide on dealing with hot friends who flirt all the time.]

well, maybe not exactly bartholomew, but in that same vein. it sounds very dignified! and hardy. like you!!

thats all my name. but it doesnt sound like me. it sound like what i couldve been. i was to be the duchess of cascadia by birth, but we lost that. then i couldve been the countess of berkshire, but i broke off the engagement. so milly suits me just fine. or milla, maybe but its not the same. anyway, thank you. i can only hope it matches its bearer!

you would be a great rock star/superhero. id go to all your concerts. front row and everything!

[some tastes include everybody poops while others of a more sophisticated palate enjoy the yodeling boners. that also sounds like a gay bar]

what vein? THAT vein? whats close to bart? YOU THINK IM DIGNIFIED AND HARDY?!?!! .////, milly-chan...

i think youve made it you. parents probably hope for the best with names like that, that the kid will meet that meaning, but youve definitely made it your own. youve shaped yourself and that name to be something youre worthy of. and milla and milly are super cute just like you 

would you throw me candy? or shoes?

[a gay bar i would absolutely frequent. it also sounds like an acapella quartet that sings sexy songs. all good things. kondo could create an empire from this.]

no not THAT vein. a different one. ruben and nicholas are in the same category, i think. ruben more, though. and of course i think youre hardy and dignified!

my parents hoped i wouldve been a princess. that name is for the empress of britannia. or a duchess. or a countess. i never reached that, which is for the best, i think. but as long as you like milly and milla, why bother with lady ashford?

id throw you candy, of course! your favourite! the shoes will only happen if youre not listening or you ask for shoes.

[and all he needed was a little inspiration from his new muse...to think he could have gone his entire life without this miracle]

just making sure we're on the right shaft-- i mean page! ruben is nice..the sandwiches are yummy. HARDY AND DIGNIFIED?! ME??? I STILL FIND THAT SO AMAZING TO HEAR 

you're a classy, loyal royal in your soul, thats for sure. and they expected a lot from you..that must've been hard. but you're a classy lady, a kind lady, through and through. and thats more important than status. 

i cant say i have a shoe fetish, so candy it is! <3 oh dont worry i'll listen to your orders, m'lady

[what a muse. he may regret this decision later.]

id like to be on the right shaft i mean page. ill have to pass your compliments to my grandfather if i see him again. but you are absolutely both of those things. do you not think so?

it was hard. i was their only child, and i was the only chance we had at being nobility again. but i ruined that chance, and they were so disappointed in me for it. i just couldnt be someones trophy wife! i think im so much more than that! whether thats true or not is left in the air... [ugh, she still can't figure out her feelings about her parents. and she might never be able to...]

no shoe fetish? disappointing. but that raises a question: whats a kink of yours?

[he's too stupid to and shes too hot]

please dont tell him about the shaft thing, if hes royalty he could be like OFF WITH HIS HEAD and it'll be the head i need most to pass on my royal line. i think i'm a pretty okay guy, i mean i was designed to be pretty low on the scale. but i have enough, is what i mean.

you ARE so much more than that! you're a warrior of the soul. you fight for these things. i wish they would have been able to see that....i'm sorry that they didnt. 

no shoe fetish. well i like being thrown into ceilings...being tied up would be nice...riding crops
do friends usually talk about this...

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