shesgotguts | voicemail;

Mhmm! We talked the one time, but I think you boys were asleep. He was very polite. And he gave me that pool jousting set! So I'd say we're on very good terms!

...

[ "Asking to be sent home would be a waste of time", he thinks. Better to just drink some more coffee. ]

I see...that'd help a lot, Milly-san.

Then I'll shoot him a letter today. For you.

[she smiles and sighs, jotting down a note for herself quickly.]

Is there anything else you'd like for me to ask him?

Thank you.

[ The shake of his head comes quickly. Already he feels guilty about asking someone else. ]

No. [ ... ] ...unless you want to alter some grades.

[she takes another sip of her coffee, and then laughs.]

Makoto, I'm afraid I can't do that, no matter how handsome I think you are. [a pause.] But if you tell me what classes you're having trouble with, I can talk to the teacher about offering extra credit.

That's too bad.

[ Extra credit, though. His gaze drifts off her and towards the window, mentally calculating his schedule. He's got half an hour until work at Honeybee, four hours there, then over to the radio station until midnight...then up at six tomorrow morning to do it all again.

He sighs. ]

I don't think I have the time.

[she sighs, and stares at him with a concerned expression on her face. he looks exhausted, like she feels, but she doesn't know how to help him. she takes another sip of her coffee, and writes another note for herself.]

Listen, I'll figure out the logistics. Just tell me what classes you're having a problem in, and I'll get everything in order for you. [doing this felt like favouritism, but she would do it for any of the students. really.] Just... Trust me.

I trust you.

[ That much he can say without hesitation. It had been a joke, but his grades really had been slipping. The tiredness she saw was one he carried with him all the time. It was just that now - much like her at other times - it had begun to show. ]

...history, a little. And biology.

[another note is written down.] I will talk to both of your teachers first thing tomorrow. We'll get you right back to where you want to be.

I don't want you to have to retake classes or anything. Especially when you're so bright. It would be an absolute waste of your time, and you need all the sleeping hours you can get!

...

[ Mentioning that he gets sleep in class would probably not help. He can see the worry in her eyes, and hates that he caused it. Makoto covers that thought by draining quite a deal of the coffee, the drink starting to work its way through his system. He's alert enough now to sit up properly. ]

Thank you.

[ That time, it's in a much more formal tone. He shakes off those darker thoughts and focuses just on her. ]

...how have you been, Milly-san? I'm here to visit you, too.

[she can hear the formality in his voice, and it feels like she's taking so many steps backwards with him. with all of her friends, even. but she says nothing, flipping through her papers for a moment, then looking up at him with a soft smile.]

I'm. I'm really glad you are. I was worried we were going to be all business! But I'm... Living! Busy, but living.

[at school all day, then at the strip club all night, and if she's got a break, she's making calls for natsuru and sayaka's wedding. she can sleep when she's dead.]

[ It's a tricky business when opening up is the very thing that makes him want to back away. He has to remind himself - very firmly, covering the thought again with another gulp of coffee - that this is Milly. He said he trusts her, and he does.

So calm the hell down, boy. He relaxes his tone, trying for a faint hint of a smile, if only to make her feel better. ]

Looks like we're both overworking ourselves.

We are. We really are...

[she catches the trace of a smile on his lips, and she just stares at him for a moment, then takes another sip of her coffee.]

But my grandfather said that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. So, here we are.

It's a good rule to live by.

[ He thinks on it for a little bit, which makes him realise something. ]

...did you live with your parents back home, Milly-san?

Ah, well...

[that's... quite the question. and it's a little bit loaded. anything about her parents is loaded. but she just smiles and opts for a very easy answer.]

I had my own place in the Settlement. I was a working woman, after all.

[and it's not a lie. but that didn't feel like an answer to the question he was asking.]

So you're used to doing things yourself.

[ It explains a lot, that. In the same way, thinking about his parents...well, it never stops being hard, but that wound has long since scabbed over. He tips the cup, pouring the last few remnants of good coffee into his mouth.

Courage, Makoto. He sets the cup down and meets her eyes. ]

I lost mine. A long time ago.

Do or die. I had help, but it wasn't like you think.

[it's never quite like anyone thinks. but who every actually thinks about these things?

she watches him attentively, and her eyes go wide when he speaks. she could've said she saw that coming, but that would've been a lie. she sighs softly, keeping her eyes on his.]

I'm so sorry to hear that... It must've been so tough for you to go through that.

[many things had happened to her, but losing her parents-- fully, forever, to death-- had not been one of them. at least she had the hope of seeing them again...]

[ He shrugs. ]

It was a long time ago.

[ Things have been tough since, but he doesn't complain. He hopes it's clear that this is an offering, something to prove that he does actually consider her a friend. ]

That's why it's so different here.

I see. I'm still sorry to hear it.

[she looks to her coffee cup and shakes her head. she wonders how many of her friends here have secrets like that. she's got her fair share, too, so she supposes they all hide them for the same reason she hides hers.

but what that reason is, she couldn't say.]

I... can see why it must be strange for you. To actually have some semblance of family. Do you... do you like it?

It's not that it's family. It's more like...

[ He trails off, his shoulders bobbing again. He'd been pushed from relative to relative for many years now, so family was never the issue. It was people he could get close to and start to trust - someone who wouldn't end up packing him away to be someone else's problem.

Plus the whole 'terrifying murder hour' thing. Living alone with that for a few years creates its own burden. ]

It's just me and Ayame-san. So it's fine.

[ She's much more room-mate than mother, and that's how he likes it. A sense of distance is much more familiar than the loving family Milly has created for herself. ]

I don't know if I'll ever understand how you really feel. [and she won't. her parents might have used her, and made decisions she didn't agree with, but they were there, and she still loves them. and she made her own family, a group of teenagers she misses every day. all of them... she built a family-- natsuru, sayaka, euphemia, suzaku... and makoto too-- here. she's never been without a family.] But. I'm so glad you have Ayame-san. You deserve to have someone around you. You deserve so many wonderful things. and I think she's, at the very least, a start.

[she says that earnestly, looking him in the eye.]

[ He doesn't answer that time. Neither does he. That same family she's made here, Natsuru, Sayaka, Ayame and Milly, is his own as well by this point.

He just...isn't gonna tell anyone that. Ever. ]

Maybe.

[ He exhales softly. And to think this started because he wanted to impress a girl with pink hair. ]

...can I have another cup of coffee, Milly-san?

[she tries to give him a weak smile, but it slips away so easily. he's such a brave young man... for a moment, she focuses on him, trying to figure out what to say, but she sees that he's speaking before the words he says register. when they do, she stands up quickly, a little bit confused and frantic.]

Coffee! Right! I'm sorry, I should've refilled your mug sooner. [she starts out the door, running in her stockinged feet, then turns around to go to grab his cup, then decides against it and runs to make him another cup. this time is faster than before, and she returns with two mugs.] There you go, sweetheart. I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention. Must be sleep deprivation kicking in!

[ In all the hurry, Makoto reverts right back to sitting quietly. The caffeine is starting to work, but it's not quite there yet. He stares forward until she returns, trying not to think too deeply on old wounds. ]

It's fine. [ He accepts the mug, taking a sip straight away. ] You should rest.

[she smiles and slumps into her seat, finishing the first mug in one gulp, and starting on the second one.]

I should rest, but no rest for the wicked, you know! [she chuckles and smiles.] The wicked also don't have time for it.

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